When I walked in to my weekly Biophysical Profile Ultrasound at 37 weeks, I did not expect to not go home that night. Actually, I had Grayson and my Mom with me because we had plans for the rest of the afternoon. But, as some of y’all know, that’s exactly what happened. Sawyer came into the world about two and a half weeks early, completely unexpected, and we’ve been in love with her ever since. While my birth experience wasn’t what I had hoped and dreamed of (again…I’ll have to post Grayson’s birth story soon, because I have the worst luck birthing babies apparently), it brought me my daughter. And, thank God, because of that I’m already over the negative feelings that I had towards it not going my way.
So, like I said, I went to my weekly BPP (as per usual). During the ultrasound, the technician could NOT get the baby to move…like, no matter what. She spent a good 30 minutes pushing, jiggling, and shaking my belly to no avail. Unfortunately, ultrasound technicians typically aren’t allowed to tell you anything, so she kept quiet and just ended the ultrasound as usual. When I sat down in the waiting room to wait for the doctor visit portion of my appointment, the baby started to move. I remember telling my mom “Of course, she’s going to move now! She’s so stubborn!” At this point, I didn’t have any red flags or think that anything was amiss. Which is unusual for me because I’m normally paranoid about something being wrong throughout my entire pregnancies.
As soon as I saw my doctor’s face, I knew that something was wrong. He’s been pretty chill my entire pregnancy, we always joked around together. (As much as you can joke around with someone who has his hand on your cervix). He checked my cervix, I wasn’t dilated…still in the softening stage. I remember thinking “Oh man, I’m going to be pregnant forever”. He took his gloves off, and told me that the results of the BPP weren’t good, and he was sending me to the hospital to be admitted. With the biophysical profile, you want to score 8 out of 8. My score was a 4. They would keep me overnight and retry the BPP in the morning. If we passed that one, I could go home. If the results were the same, they would start the induction process.
My mind immediately started racing. I wasn’t going home tonight. My son was here with me, my husband was at work. I started panicking, and tried to get out of there as soon as I could because I knew that the tears were coming.
After walking into the hospital to check in alone, I waited in a smaller room for Jacob to get there. I was talking and joking with the nurses, because there was no way that I was having a baby today. One of my nurses got my doctor on the phone and got him to agree to let me retake the test that same day, and go home that night if I passed. So, it turned into a waiting game. They had me make sure that I was eating, drinking sugary drinks, etc ensure that the baby would move for the ultrasound technician.
This time, during the ultrasound, we got baby movement immediately, but my fluid was dangerously low.
When I got back to my room, I knew that I wasn’t going home, and I tried so hard to hide the tears when I saw my husband. My nurse got my doctor back on the phone and he confirmed my fears–I was being induced the following morning. What was worse? The on-call doctor was going to be delivering my baby, not my doctor. This was when I couldn’t control my emotions anymore, talking to my doctor, I just burst into tears. I was not prepared to have this baby so early. Was she going to be alright? What if she was too small? And, what the hell would I do if she didn’t make it? Or if I didn’t make it, what would my husband do? Would he be okay without me?
We were moved to a Labor and Delivery Room and they began prepping me, let me shower, etc. before Jacob and I went to sleep for the night. Cytotec was started at 4 AM, and after only one dose we started Pitocin at 6 AM.
Sleeping in a hospital sucks. Every 30 minutes, my blood pressure cuff went off. Someone was always coming in to check on us, refill my IV bags, check my blood sugar, etc. I felt so bad for my husband–who is 6’6″, and had to sleep in the most uncomfortable couch ever. My hospital also apparently had a pillow shortage, and I had forgotten to bring my own from home. Actually, my bag wasn’t even packed, and my husband had to throw stuff in it as quickly as he could.
During Grayson’s birth, I had so many issues receiving the epidural, and even after telling the anesthesiologists, they still had a hard time. I have some problems with the ligaments in my back, and it makes finding a path for the catheter extremely difficult. It took them about 4-5 times (I can’t remember because I blocked it out, lol) of removing the needle and reinserting a new needle to find a good path. Still less times than with Grayson. But, this time it actually worked! Last time, I could still feel one entire side of my body.
It didn’t take long from when they administered the epidural at 9:00 AM to when I was ready to push. I remember that I was just napping (that’s the great thing about an epidural…I barely felt my contractions up until this point), and suddenly woke up to a LOT of pressure. I know now that that feeling was baby in the birth canal, but I didn’t remember having that feeling with Grayson, so I didn’t know what it was.
After letting the nurses know that I felt like I had to push, they started preparing the room and calling the on-call doctor. At this point, they wanted me to wait until he was there to start pushing. But, he walked in at just the right time because this baby was READY.
Pushing didn’t last very long, I think I only pushed one or two times before she was out. I can’t explain the feeling that I’ve had each time my children were born. Moms, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The moment that they place them on your chest, everything else falls away and it’s just the two of you there. You are just so in love with this baby, this person that you carried inside of you for nine months and finally get to meet. She looked exactly like her brother when she was born, and I knew that she was mine and I loved her immediately. (I will also always remember being delivered flowers from my best friend–who is also my birth photographer and was out of town at the time. Literally. They handed her to me, and the doctor said “I deliver flowers now, too”). I even pressed some of the flowers into a book to keep and place in her baby book.
Sawyer was born at 1:09PM on July 7th. She weighed 6 pounds, 4 ounces, and was 20 inches long. The name Sawyer Lane was decided on months in advance, after a lot of back and forth discussions. While we had several other names in mind, I knew that she was Sawyer right when I saw her.
We had one hour of skin to skin, where Jacob and I just spent time together and let everyone know her and I were both alright.
I will always remember that first night, with both of my kids. I remembered to take pictures just like this with each of them. Wide awake, exhausted, and just staring at eachother–lots of skin to skin, lots of breastfeeding. Very little sleep. With Sawyer, we actually did send her to the nursery for a few hours so that we could sleep. We planned to go home after 24 hours, and wanted to get as much rest as we could before we were home with two kids.
We left the hospital as soon as we could, 24 hours after Sawyer’s birth, and it’s like she’s always been here. We’re all exhausted and still getting used to our new routines, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.